Gavriella’s Story: My own wake up call

Wake-up Call

“My numbness was a bad thing. My silence implied acceptance. By normalizing the microaggression, I was indicating that it was ok behavior. And my silence was hurting others who faced similar thoughtlessness. I was modeling that they should ignore bad behavior too.

Worse yet, I was missing the opportunity to lead and teach others a better way.

That wake-up call opened my eyes to my partnership with the status quo, and I’ve never been the same since. It’s what has made me so passionate about building company cultures through allyship.”

What is a microaggression or as I call them Inclusion Inhibitor?

Inclusion Inhibitors are subtle, sometimes unintentional, acts or expressions of exclusion or unconscious bias towards members of a group or people that are different than you where the occurrence of the inclusion inhibitor subtly (or not so subtly) excludes a member of the group.

Rather than an overt declaration of racism or sexism, an inclusion inhibitor often takes the shape of an offhand comment, an inadvertently painful joke, mispronouncing someone’s name, misuse of a phrase or a pointed insult.

Responding to Inclusion Inhibitors

Addressing inclusion inhibitors in the moment is important, but you must remember that they are often unintentional. A person can be blind to how their actions are affecting you or someone else.  Your goal in taking action in that moment is to turn that moment of exclusion into a moment of inclusion. 

Do you know what to do or say when you see someone trying to contribute but being ignored?

Becoming More Aware

Over time, collectively, inclusion inhibitors build insurmountable walls that prevent many people from progressing, or succeeding, in their teams.

To be an effective ally, you must be aware of inclusion inhibitors (often called Microaggressions), so you do not function from your own, unconscious bias.

Over the next week work with intention to be an advocate. Own it.

Listen for microaggressions and see if you can practice saying something without singling out any one individual, and without blaming or shaming anyone else.

Reflect on what you could say, or did say, to advocate in the situation.

Download the Uncovering Inclusion Inhibitors worksheet to record your reflections.